WE COME ALONE, WE GO ALONE..AND WE FIGHT ALONE....

There are good days,there are bad days, but what makes this life interesting is how we actually manage to turn these bad days into good ones... we all know that complete happiness is not attainable but sometimes, with little effort we can keep the bad, depressing moments on some shelf or hang them on a hanger in our wardrobe and lock it.. find some favourite song to cheer ourselves up and voila!!

I have learnt one thing and memorised it by heart that whatever the situation, it is only me, who can tackle it and face the challenge..people can give support and assurances but it helps only if one has that indomitable spirit.. the ultimate truth is, we come alone, we go alone..and we fight alone....

TOOFAAN / तूफ़ान ……

Is waqt
shant, gambheer yah bimb
tej, aag ki tapish jaisa
ugal raha hai krodh,
kuch antardwandh,
kuch ahankar ka.
kuch us kshamata ki
jo chahe toh rakh kar de.....

Hai intezar
us toofan ka
jo kahar dha jayega,
boondon se bhigokar,
ek ek kan ko.
vidhwans ka doosra rukh
darakhton ke chehron pe..

Ek ore navjeevan,
ankurit, prasfutit.
aur kuch sookhe patte
kuchle prem ki tarah
bikharte hue
khatm hote hue........

इस वक़्त

शांत, गंभीर यह बिंब

तेज, आग की तपिश जैसा

उगल रहा है क्रोध,

कुछ अंतर्द्वंध 

कुछ अहंकार का.

कुछ उस क्षमता की

जो चाहे तो रख कर दे.....

है इंतज़ार

उस तूफ़ान का

जो कहर ढा जाएगा,

बूँदों से भिगोकर,

एक एक कण को.

विध्वंस का दूसरा रुख़

दरख्तों के चेहरों पे..

एक ओर नवजीवन,

अंकुरित,प्रस्फुटित .

और कुछ सूखे पत्ते

कुचले प्रेम की तरह

बिखरते हुए

ख़त्म होते हुए........

pic - www.panoramio.com2613 × 1871Search by image

Colors Of The Sun.....Santorini

SHIKAYAT... / शिकायत......

Ab shikayaton se hum shikayat karne lage
chand lamhein khud ke liye alag karne lage

Koshish jab bhi ki bahr mein tumhein likhne ki
tum shakhs koi anjaan se lagne lage

Ek patta bhi nahin hilta hai jahan bewajah
zahe naseeb ki tum safhon mein sajne lage

Boondon ke saath ate ho, phir jane kahan chale jate ho
tasavvur mein gum tanha pal ginne lage

Abra jab siyah kar gaya asmaan ko
hum un badalon mein tumhein dhoondne lage

Waadon ki baat karta hai zamana aksar
un wadon kaa kya jo nasoor zakhm ban ne lage


अब शिकायतों से हम शिकायत करने लगे
चंद लम्हें खुद के लिए अलग करने लगे

कोशिश जब भी की बह्र में तुम्हें लिखने की
तुम शख़्स कोई अंजान से लगने लगे

एक पत्ता भी नहीं हिलता है जहाँ बेवजह
ज़हे नसीब की तुम सफ़ों में सजने लगे

बूँदों के साथ आते हो, फिर जाने कहाँ चले जाते हो
तसव्वुर में गुम तन्हा पल गिनने लगे

अब्र जब सियाह कर गया आसमाँ को
हम उन बादलों में तुम्हें ढूँढ़ने लगे

वादों की बात करता है ज़माना अक्सर
उन वादों का क्या जो नासूर ज़ख्म बनने लगे

BUCKET FULL OF ASHES..............

In the end all that remains of our entity is mere bucket full of ashes...  yet we struggle and fight for all that is not going to give us peace when end comes knocking. The ultimate peace is derived from some home cooked food, some sleep in our own bed and presence of a few near and dear ones ...actually puts a smile on our face even when we are on the verge of losing a battle... But I always feel that God should give us a little time, just a little more, before calling the final shot so that we can thank our caregiver, express our love for the members of the family and friends and leave this world as one happy soul.

Thanking the caregiver is very important, whosoever it is, spouse, parent, chidren, maid or nurse, anyone. More so because they are the ones who have been looking after the patients daily needs and hygiene, doctor appointments, medications and diet, so in the event of death or any kind of criticality they are the ones who are questioned. They feel guilty when suddenly something untoward happens, quite unnecessarily. So, it is very important that their work and time is duly recognised and appreciated with utmost gratefulness by everyone.

Everything does not happen as per our wishes and every wish of ours can never be fulfilled yet we never stop dreaming.. and keep believing that everything happens for a reason.. thats the best way to accept and explain the loss maybe. But,the fact of the matter is, in due course of time, yes time, the most powerful yet abstract entity, we tend to forget the 'reason' part. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle and this minimises the pain.

Just wondering, do we stop dreaming after death? Is there really anything called soul? Do souls dream? Do we carry our dreams with us to our next birth? These are pretty weird questions but at some point or the other in our life we have asked these to ourselves or shared these queries with our peers...

HAI INTEZAAR..../ है इंतज़ार....

Hai intezaar un barishon ka jab geele harf nagmein gungunayenge
Hai intezaar un boondon ka jab sondhi khushbu ayegi khwaabon se....

है इंतज़ार उन बारिशों का जब गीले हर्फ़ नग्में गुनगुनायेंगे
है इंतज़ार उन बूंदों का जब सोंधी ख़ुशबू आयेगी ख़्वाबों से.....

pic courtesy- diwakarkaushik.wordpress.com

GOD IS GREAT, AND SO IS MAN...

When my problems looked big I looked around and found bigger problems that were staring from the walls and nooks and corners, and I saw people staring back at them with nothing but hope and will power. This made me happy as I was not alone, not the only mortal with morbidity clouding my thoughts and I prepared myself to face the challenge... sounds like a paradox? well.... I really felt stronger when I saw the other mortals also trying to find means to save the lives of those who will NOT dwell on the earth forever.....  lesser or more, fact is, mortals always try to fight till the last breath against all odds... God is great, no two ways about it, and so is man..

THE PEN ON PAPER....

The pen on paper

echoing the unconscious

or the subconscious

etches all

that is me

the longings

and willingness

the spirited

the bohemian

The pen on paper

etches all

that is not me

but craves to be

composing and editing

thousands of dreams

in several hundred

seconds and minutes

The pen on paper

changes all

that was

or is or will be

as if

I were not me

but a magician

and the pen !

a magic wand....

www.sxc.hu 

LIFE GOES ON.... AND HOW !!

Ain't it true that the hospitals and wedding venues are the two places where you get to meet up with those relatives (and sometimes friends ) whom you haven't seen or spoken to in ages and even those who you do not even remember. The most funny part is the effort that you have to put while trying to recollect whether they are related to you on your father's side or mother's side. But the truth is, at the end of the day you need endless love and prayers. Presence of relatives and friends when in pain helps immensely, whether it is the new beginning of your life or the twilight .

Every now and then I come across the terminology 'role reversal'.. this time it was my turn to experience it. Yes, it feels terrible when you have to pacify and scold a seventy two year old who does not want to eat, does not want to stay in the hospital and listen to the doctor, crying inconsolably as the umpteen number of tubes and needles puncture his body causing him discomfiture. You feel helpless. That is the moment when you go back in time and try to remember the parent that he was, and the way he would make you see reason when you behaved adamantly. You want to remember those words and tactics that he as a father used to make you understand the rationale behind his decision. You actually try to be the parent to this child who was once your parent. 

Life is tough when situations go beyond your control and the complexity of the situation makes you feel helpless. The whole world seems wrong when you have the will but not the way to come out of the situation. Though you end up as a great fighter more often that not but the stress that accompanies such a fierce battle is very trying. Breaks you completely. The most negative outcome when dealing with the unknown is loss of trust and confidence. There cannot be anything worse than losing faith in your doctor. The fear shows in your face clearly and you fail to convince the patient that everything is alright. What more!  you lose sleep.

I have always believed that the best motivator is you yourself. No one in this world can motivate me other than me. I can go to some great spiritual guru or therapist or even a counsellor but the 'me' within knows the best how to motivate myself and come out of a situation with flying colours. There have been situations in my life when I have weeped for hours feeling humiliated and embarrassed by my failures, failure at coping with certain challenges but then it has been me , only me who has finally comforted myself, stopped crying and picked up the threads of life and tackled those negativities.

Well, life goes on.....

COMFORT FOOD

You could be a star, a celeb, a business tycoon or whatever but when it comes to comfort food it is probably the simplest of things that you would want to be served, indulge in with closed eyes remembering your childhood, actually the food that you grew up with. Especially, when depression, melancholy or ill-health strikes you, all you need is that small portion of your favourite comfort food, which could be khichuri(khichdi), jam bread, chicken stew or icecream or even the roadside food like egg roll or alur chop and yes, also that two-minute wonder food, maggi. 

Just read, Mahanayika Suchitra Sen wants to have phuchka (paani puri). She is very ill, 82 years old, in severe respiratory distress, is hardly eating anything but when Mamata Banerjee asked her , she said, she would like to have a few phuchkas. See !! Comfort food really blunts all kinds of negative feelings. Elevates the mood as well as our physiology. Do not forget this is the food that your mother made when you felt litle down , had fever or loss of appetite. 

I think, we develop this craving for 'comfort' food mostly while going through a rough phase in our life. Perhaps,  this takes us back to those times when we would throw tantrums, driving our parents nuts, refusing the vegetables or the fish that we hated to debone. Eventually, the frustrated but caring mother would get us the food we would eat without uttering a word and feel happy that the child is not hungry anymore and later eat her food aram se ..

 

This habit stays with us till the last day of our life and we seek comfort and security, which our mother used to provide us during challenging times in our childhood, even when we are on the verge of hitting the twilight of our life . 

A bowl of vegetable curry or the healthy soup might have been replaced with the bigger problems of life, with the various complexities but the comfort zone that we still search for is the love and care that manifests itself through the comfort food.

 Mine is very clearly deem, alu sheddho, bhaat with ghee or butter (boiled eggs and mashed potatoes with rice and ghee/butter). What is your comfort food and why ?


Image courtesy- Google

HARIYE JAWA.... / হারিয়ে যাওয়া...

Jani, achho dariye
duarer arale,
opekkhaye, kakhon ghumer kole
matha rakhbe amar chokh duti,
awpoloke takiye achho.
Achcha, amon kore takiye achho kyano?

Enechho bujhi ekti notun kahini,
jeta porbo shudhu ami ar tumi?
Jodi thake ei kahini te
dukkho, asrudhara, bedonar gaan,
jodi thake ei kahini te
awshar gangrene, bistrito moruddyan,
ami kintu porbona.

Jano
nidrar deshe, jekhane ghor amar
ami chaii shudhu swasti apaar.
Du mutho roder kona
ektu uttore batash,
moner shathe gopon kawtha,
ar bare bare hariye jawa.....

জানি, আচ্ছো দাড়িয়ে

দুয়ারের আড়ালে,

অপেক্ষায়ে ,কখন ঘুমের কোলে

মাথা রাখবে আমার চোখ দুটি,

অবপলক তাকিয়ে আচ্ছো.

আচ্ছা, অমন করে তাকিয়ে আচ্ছো ক্যানো?

এনেচ্ছো বুঝি একটি নতুন কাহিনী,

যেটা পরবো শুধু আমি আর তুমি?

যদি থাকে এই কাহিনী তে

দুঃক্ষ, অশ্রুধারা , বেদনার গান,

যদি থাকে এই কাহিনী তে

অসাড় গ্যাংরীন , বিস্তৃত মরুদ্যান ,

আমি কিন্তু পড়বনা .

জানো

নিদ্রার দেশে, যেখানে ঘর আমার

আমি চাই শুধু স্বস্তি অপার.

দু মুঠো রোদের কণা

একটু উত্তরে বাতাস,

মনের সাথে গোপন কথা ,

আর বারে বারে হারিয়ে যাওয়া...

pic-freehdw.com