Thursday, January 30, 2014


The pen on paper
echoing the unconscious
or the subconscious
etches all
that is me
the longings
and willingness
the spirited
the bohemian

The pen on paper
etches all
that is not me
but craves to be
composing and editing
thousands of dreams
in several hundred
seconds and minutes

The pen on paper
changes all
that was
or is or will be
as if
I were not me
but a magician
and the pen !
a magic wand.... 

Friday, January 24, 2014


Ain't it true that the hospitals and wedding venues are the two places where you get to meet up with those relatives (and sometimes friends ) whom you haven't seen or spoken to in ages and even those who you do not even remember. The most funny part is the effort that you have to put while trying to recollect whether they are related to you on your father's side or mother's side. But the truth is, at the end of the day you need endless love and prayers. Presence of relatives and friends when in pain helps immensely, whether it is the new beginning of your life or the twilight .

Every now and then I come across the terminology 'role reversal'.. this time it was my turn to experience it. Yes, it feels terrible when you have to pacify and scold a seventy two year old who does not want to eat, does not want to stay in the hospital and listen to the doctor, crying inconsolably as the umpteen number of tubes and needles puncture his body causing him discomfiture. You feel helpless. That is the moment when you go back in time and try to remember the parent that he was, and the way he would make you see reason when you behaved adamantly. You want to remember those words and tactics that he as a father used to make you understand the rationale behind his decision. You actually try to be the parent to this child who was once your parent. 

Life is tough when situations go beyond your control and the complexity of the situation makes you feel helpless. The whole world seems wrong when you have the will but not the way to come out of the situation. Though you end up as a great fighter more often that not but the stress that accompanies such a fierce battle is very trying. Breaks you completely. The most negative outcome when dealing with the unknown is loss of trust and confidence. There cannot be anything worse than losing faith in your doctor. The fear shows in your face clearly and you fail to convince the patient that everything is alright. What more!  you lose sleep.

I have always believed that the best motivator is you yourself. No one in this world can motivate me other than me. I can go to some great spiritual guru or therapist or even a counsellor but the 'me' within knows the best how to motivate myself and come out of a situation with flying colours. There have been situations in my life when I have weeped for hours feeling humiliated and embarrassed by my failures, failure at coping with certain challenges but then it has been me , only me who has finally comforted myself, stopped crying and picked up the threads of life and tackled those negativities.

Well, life goes on.....

Saturday, January 11, 2014


You could be a star, a celeb, a business tycoon or whatever but when it comes to comfort food it is probably the simplest of things that you would want to be served, indulge in with closed eyes remembering your childhood, actually the food that you grew up with. Especially, when depression, melancholy or ill-health strikes you, all you need is that small portion of your favourite comfort food, which could be khichuri(khichdi), jam bread, chicken stew or icecream or even the roadside food like egg roll or alur chop and yes, also that two-minute wonder food, maggi. 

Just read, Mahanayika Suchitra Sen wants to have phuchka (paani puri). She is very ill, 82 years old, in severe respiratory distress, is hardly eating anything but when Mamata Banerjee asked her , she said, she would like to have a few phuchkas. See !! Comfort food really blunts all kinds of negative feelings. Elevates the mood as well as our physiology. Do not forget this is the food that your mother made when you felt litle down , had fever or loss of appetite. 

I think, we develop this craving for 'comfort' food mostly while going through a rough phase in our life. Perhaps,  this takes us back to those times when we would throw tantrums, driving our parents nuts, refusing the vegetables or the fish that we hated to debone. Eventually, the frustrated but caring mother would get us the food we would eat without uttering a word and feel happy that the child is not hungry anymore and later eat her food aram se ..


This habit stays with us till the last day of our life and we seek comfort and security, which our mother used to provide us during challenging times in our childhood, even when we are on the verge of hitting the twilight of our life . 

A bowl of vegetable curry or the healthy soup might have been replaced with the bigger problems of life, with the various complexities but the comfort zone that we still search for is the love and care that manifests itself through the comfort food.

 Mine is very clearly deem, alu sheddho, bhaat with ghee or butter (boiled eggs and mashed potatoes with rice and ghee/butter). What is your comfort food and why ?

Image courtesy- Google

Friday, January 10, 2014

HARIYE JAWA.... / হারিয়ে যাওয়া...

Jani, achho dariye
duarer arale,
opekkhaye, kakhon ghumer kole
matha rakhbe amar chokh duti,
awpoloke takiye achho.
Achcha, amon kore takiye achho kyano?

Enechho bujhi ekti notun kahini,
jeta porbo shudhu ami ar tumi?
Jodi thake ei kahini te
dukkho, asrudhara, bedonar gaan,
jodi thake ei kahini te
awshar gangrene, bistrito moruddyan,
ami kintu porbona.

nidrar deshe, jekhane ghor amar
ami chaii shudhu swasti apaar.
Du mutho roder kona
ektu uttore batash,
moner shathe gopon kawtha,
ar bare bare hariye jawa.....

জানি, আচ্ছো দাড়িয়ে
দুয়ারের আড়ালে,
অপেক্ষায়ে ,কখন ঘুমের কোলে
মাথা রাখবে আমার চোখ দুটি,
অবপলক তাকিয়ে আচ্ছো.
আচ্ছা, অমন করে তাকিয়ে আচ্ছো ক্যানো?

এনেচ্ছো বুঝি একটি নতুন কাহিনী,
যেটা পরবো শুধু আমি আর তুমি?
যদি থাকে এই কাহিনী তে
দুঃক্ষ, অশ্রুধারা , বেদনার গান,
যদি থাকে এই কাহিনী তে
অসাড় গ্যাংরীন , বিস্তৃত মরুদ্যান ,
আমি কিন্তু পড়বনা .

নিদ্রার দেশে, যেখানে ঘর আমার
আমি চাই শুধু স্বস্তি অপার.
দু মুঠো রোদের কণা
একটু উত্তরে বাতাস,
মনের সাথে গোপন কথা ,
আর বারে বারে হারিয়ে যাওয়া...

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

ZINDAGI... / ज़िंदगी....

Anginat baar todna chaha
toot bhi gaye
jarjar ho gaye
phir se lau jali
hua hamara naya janm
usne phir toda
hum phir toote
is baar bhi dhans gaye
uske karz tale
phir lahlaha uthe

Ye toda bhi usne
joda bhi usne
gira ke phir uthaya bhi usi ne hai
yahi toh zindagi ki fitrat hai.......

अनगिनत बार तोड़ना चाहा
टूट भी गये
जर्जर हो गये
फिर से लौ जली
हुआ हमारा नया जन्म
उसने फिर तोड़ा
हम फिर टूटे
इस बार भी धँस गये
उसके क़र्ज़ तले
फिर लहलहा उठे

ये तोड़ा भी उसने
जोड़ा भी उसने
गिरा के फिर उठाया भी उसी ने है
यही तो ज़िंदगी की फ़ितरत है.......

Friday, January 03, 2014


Mohpash mein jakda hua ho jaise,
mera woh hissa,
jo tyag nahin kar paya,
na, balki tyag nahin karna chahta
atishyokti ka vyavahar, mithya adambar.

Jeena chahta hai isi tarah,
mere us hisse ko kuchalkar
jo rahna chahta hai
vastav ke paridhi mein
saadgi ka daaman pakadkar.

Do hisson mein banta mera astitva,
maan-abhimaan ke chakravyuh se
nikalne ki raah
nahin dhoond paya
rah gaya prashnachinhon ke jaal mein ulajhkar.

Prashnachinha!! haan, saikdon.
Jahan tak nazar jaye wahan tak.
Do hisson mein vibhajit main,
shayad rahoongi aajanm
isi bhoolbhulaiya mein ulajhkar.

मोहपाश में जकड़ा हुआ हो जैसे,
मेरा वह हिस्सा,
जो त्याग नहीं कर पाया,
न, बल्कि त्याग नहीं करना चाहता
अतिशयोक्ति का व्यवहार, मिथ्या आडंबर.

जीना चाहता है इसी तरह,
मेरे उस हिस्से को कुचलकर
जो रहना चाहता है
वास्तव के परिधि में
सादगी का दामन पकड़कर.

दो हिस्सों में बँटा मेरा अस्तित्व,
मान-अभिमान के चक्रव्यूह से
निकलने की राह
नहीं ढूँढ पाया
रह गया प्रश्नचिन्हों के जाल में उलझकर.

प्रश्नचिन्ह!! हाँ, सैकड़ों.
जहाँ तक नज़र जाए वहाँ तक.
दो हिस्सों में विभाजित मैं,
शायद रहूँगी आजन्म
इसी भूलभुलैया में उलझकर.

pic courtesy 

Thursday, January 02, 2014


When I scribble
meaningless nothings
the words speak to me
meaning a world

When I write
a flawless, metered something
it becomes poetry
often meaning nothing

image courtesy 


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