MY HUSBAND TO ME.................

1 .(FB-11th APRIL)---- Walking the first few steps after almost 50 days of confinement brought immense relief & a realization. Its been 15 years of my marriage & somewhere the companionship had taken a back seat to compatibility but during the last two months, I realized what it takes to be a 'soul-mate'. My emotions have been handled with so much of affection and relentless care that I have no words to express my feelings for you. Words like 'grateful' and 'thanks' are not for you, my dear wife.I have not said these words for many years now, but let me this time.. I love you my dear
2 . (FB-5th JULY)---- you seem to be consistently excelling in the art of composing excellent verses every day. must say, each of your composition have become a benchmark by themselves, to be bettered in the next. please keep writing! its a pleasure and a pride.

LOVELESS MARRIAGE OR DIVORCE ??

LOVELESS MARRIAGE OR DIVORCE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nari manei ki shudhu abola?
anek ke jani jara bhenge porena
Bhangte jane baandh
joar er shathe bheshe jaina
Plabito nodi dai oder shahosh
bonnya ke joy kore egiye jai kato
Mon ke tara boshe korechhe
chancholota drirotar kachhe nato
Ora jakhon bhalobashe kaoke
akash ar samudra tader prerona hoi
Jakhon bhalobasha aghaat paye
bhenge porena,paina kaoke bhoi

Roughly translated, my poem means, there are women who are brave enough to face the challenges that life,love or for that matter marriage brings forth.They have learnt to control their feelings and emotions ,which is a very difficult thing.The vastness of the sky and the depth of the sea is the limit when they decide to fall in love.But these same set of women are unabashed when their love leaves them,leaving them alone to face the social police.They know how to stand alone at the face of adversity.................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every love story does not culminate into a  happy ending,Similarly,each and every marriage irrespective of it being an arranged or love ,does not end up being a cherished bond till both the partners decide to face the challenges and upheavals of life together with an equal zest.This is ideally what a marriage should be all about but how many marriages are actually theoritically and practically similar?IN reality mostly , the onus is  unto us women to keep working towards the strenthening part.However the efforts are seldom appreciated,rather they are perceived to be some kind of weakness.Those who earn ,have choices and  opportunities to look beyond the boundaries.Those with no such luck cannot retaliate when taken for granted.This is of course a very personal view,and I have complete respect for those who would like to differ................
But ,a very pertinent question---Do most of us still think loveless marriage is better than divorce?

Someone very close to me is going through this phase where she is unable to decide whether to accept her husband or to divorce him .She is confused as she has a five year old who is fond of his father,she is not independent and her parents want her to patch up despite knowing the waywardness of her husband.
What is more ironical here is the impertinent and nonchalant manner of  her husband.Behaving as if he has not committed any heinous crime by getting involved,quite seriously ,with another woman.

This is not the story of this one woman ,there are many on the same boat.Some have chosen to accept their fate as it comes,some have had luck on their side and got an opportunity to begin their life anew.
Coming back to the point, that is  my poem,yes ,I do know some women,who are fighting it out on their own.Are they happy?Who knows! Why only women,I think even men do not fancy loneliness .......but at the end of the day what matters utmost is ones peace of mind.............

When I look at my two maids,I am extremely amazed although not inspired.They are the most independent women on earth I reckon.Their husbands did not leave them ,rather they left their husbands.One of them actually threw her husband out of the house,the husbands in both the cases were drunkards and spendthrift and spent the hard earned money of their wives on their mistresses....Ido not see any diminished zeal for life in these two females, neither are they bothered about the society and its norms.They earn and spend on whatever and however they want.

Would I be able to do the same when put in a  similar situaton? NO.I do not have the guts.I belong to that category where divorce is the last resort or no option at all.A child needs both the parents even if they are not compatible that is what I personally believe.But then incompatibily,violence etc can marr the innocence of  a child and in such cases it is often sane to separate rather than pushing the child into further compexities.Having said that ,if couples are ready to give their relationship a second chance,having both the parents around, works as an invisible canopy for the child/children. A stress free life is what matters most in this competitive world for our children.................................


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HAIKU / हायकू

बैण्ड वाले हैं
इतना शोर-गुल
नेता या दुल्हा ?

band wale hain
itna shor gul
neta ya dulha

महंगाई है
सपने मत बुन
टूट जायेंगे

mahangai hai
sapne mat bun
toot jayenge

गरीबी  नर्क
दिल से जो गरीब
पैसा मैल है

gareebi nark
dil se jo gareeb
paisa mail hai

खुशियाँ क्या हैं
दुखांत ,कष्ट नहीं
 दुर्लभ पाना

khushiyaan kya hain
dukhant, kasht nahin
durlabh pana

दोस्ती की गाँठ
कितनी मज़बूत
वक्त वकील

dosti ki gaanth
kitni mazboot
waqt wakil

जीवन नदी
हम तुम नाव हैं
पार कर लें

jeevan nadi
hum tum naav hain
paar kar le

मझधार मैं
विशाल नदी और
माझी के गीत

टिप टिप ये
बरसता है पानी
आँसू या वर्षा ?

tip tip ye
barasta hai pani
aansoon ya varsha?

तर्कवितर्क
फिर भी तेरा  साथ
यही जीवन

tarkvitark
phir bhi tera saath
yahi jeevan

प्लावित मन
भावनायें असीम
समय कम

plavit man
bhavnayein aseem
samay kam

Ye badal fir pareshan karne lage hain
pareshani mein hum uljhe ja rahe hain
chhaye hue hain kabse baraste hi nahin
dillagi kar rahe hain,ye khud unhe hosh nahin 
chhaye the aise jaise fat padega aasman
kali chadar mein lipti hai suraj ki muskaan
pankh hote to udaan bharti,kahti 'aaj barso'
'zindagi ko thoda aur roomani bana do '..............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ये बादल फिर परेशान करने लगे 
हैंपरेशानी में हम उलझे जा रहे
 हैंछाये हुए हैं कबसे बरसते ही नहीं 
दिल्लगी कर रहे हैं,ये खुद उन्हें होश नहीं
छाये थे ऐसे जैसे फट पड़ेगा आसमानका
ली चादर में लिपटी है सूरज की मुस्कान 
पंख होते तो उड़ान भरती,कहती 'आज बरसो''
ज़िंदगी को थोड़ा और रूमानी बना दो '..............

Ek aur kist,silsila jari rahega agle dus saalon tak
zindagi ki ahmmiyat nahin samajhte the,beema karwa liya tha

pandrah saal guzarr gaye ,hum saath hain..............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

एक और किस्त ,सिलसिला जारी रहेगा अगले दस सालों तक
ज़िंदगी की अहम्मीयत नहीं समझते थे,बीमा करवा लिया था 

पन्द्रह साल गुज़र गए , हम साथ हैं ...........................

MANZIL KI FIKRAT MEIN KYUN GUZAAR DETA HAI ZINDAGI?/मंज़िल की फिक्रत में क्यूँ गुज़ार देता है ज़िंदगी?

Manzil ki fikrat mein kyun guzaar deta hai zindagi?
zara gaur se dekh tere sirhane baithi hai manzil
..........................................................................

Muhabbat khud bahut masoom hai,sachchi hai,
ye to hum hain jo use jhootha bana dete hain

(nafrat ka jazba kyun bhar diya dil mein 'Usne' ?)
.........................................................................

Parindo ko dekhkar udaan bharne ka man karta hai,
dil ufuk (horizon) paar jane ke liye betaab ho jata hai

(Kya parinde bhi zameen pe basne ka khwab dekhte hain?)
...........................................................................................

Insaan ne namumkin ko mumkin kiya,
chaand pe pahunch gaya,use chhoo liya

(Bas chandni aur dil ke rishte ko samajh na paya)
...............................................................................................

Parwardigar ne bhookh na di hoti to kitna achcha hota
pet ki aag mein aksar khake siyah ho jati hai muhabbat

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

मंज़िल की  फिक्रत में क्यूँ गुज़ार देता है ज़िंदगी?
ज़रा गौर से देख तेरे सिरहाने बैठी है मंज़िल
..........................................................................

मुहब्बत खुद बहुत मासूम है,सच्ची है,
ये तो हम हैं जो उसे झूठा बना देते हैं

(नफ़रत का जज़्बा क्यूँ भर दिया दिल में 'उसने' ?)
.........................................................................

परिंदो को देखकर उड़ान भरने का मन करता है,
दिल उफ़ुक (क्षितिज) पार जाने के लिये बेताब हो जाता है

(क्या परिंदे भी ज़मीं पे बसने का ख़्वाब देखते हैं?)
...........................................................................................

ईंसान ने नामुमकिन को मुमकिन किया,
चाँद पे पहुँच गया,उसे छू लिया

(बस चाँदनी और दिल के रिश्ते को समझ न पाया)
...............................................................................................

पर्वरदिगार ने भूख न दी होती तो कितना अच्छा होता
पेट की आग में अक्सर खाके सियाह हो जाती है मुहब्बत

GENERATION GAP- A MINDSET !!

My son wants a pizza as he has scored nine on ten in history.The highest in the class.And very surprisingly I reward him.This was unthinkable when we were kids.The kind of gifts these kids demand range from play stations to cell phone to i-pod and what not.Most of us do fulfil these demands.Families where both the parents contribute towards the family income or are otherwise quite well-off do not probably think twice before giving in to the demands.But there are families who are working hard day and night to make both ends meet,yet their children try to compete with their peers for things so materialistic.
There are parents who feel guilty all the time as they are unable to spend time with their kids due to workload and to compensate for their absence of long hours,they fill their world with costly gadgets.Is this the only solution? I feel, there very high chances that this will spoil the chid,corrupt the young mind.The child might start blackmailing every now and then.He may even get branded as 'a big show off' within his peer group.This is MY perception
But the same child ,shows remarkable maturity when included  in the discussions pertaining to various financial and emotional problems within the family.This inference has been drawn entirely from my childhood experience and is not a mere speculation.
Being a daughter of a working couple I now realise how difficult it would have been for them when they found their children quarreling,arguing and throwing tantrums ,after a sressful day.Their predicaments could have been lessened if they had consellors,child Psychologists and specialists dealing with such situations.But in seventies and eighties  such terms were unheard of.
My parents had to depend on a trial and error method and the one method which clicked was the DELEGATION OF DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES  amongst the siblings.The three of us were assigned specific tasks and were appreciated profoundly for proper execution.
The second method which worked was SHARING.I remember very vividly,when I was in the Eighth standard my mother asked me to help her in the kitchen and while we were preparing the breakfast she explained to me the reasons why it was that both of them had to work and how it would help if I being the eldest one helped her and understood her.It changed me as a person and I felt very proud of myself as my point of view was also heard.
 These are not mere observations,but something which WE have really applied in OUR dealings with OUR son. I am not a working mother, true , but once your child steps into this new horizon called adolescence his world becomes mesmerizing.They start dreaming,day dreaming , thinking,pondering and now you are the one who becomes confused.Unable to understand our child's psychology we often rebuke him for wrong reasons.During such a state of delirium ,I ,often try to recall the methods and tricks that MY parents used to apply on me (us).
We have decided to inhabit his part of the world rather than ask him to follow ours.We have allowed him to watch the tv shows which he likes and appreciate the ones which are based on good subjects.Even if we are all glued to the screen,we are glued as a family.The programs which we do not like !! Well we excuse ourselves very politely citing the negativities of the contents and leave him alone.
This is working and how! He has almost given up watching stupid cartoons.
When my thirteen year old asked for a cell phone , as most of his friends possess one , I refused , very blatantly. I could very well apprehend that my son was going to fall into a trap, very soon.So after lot of debate we decided to gift him a pup, fulfilling his not so unreasonable demand.But again this was not completely unconditional .We advised him to educate himself properly about all the aspects of  pet care and were quite surprised when he actually did so.
So I personally feel ,  one occasional pizza ,or a story book is alright if your child is  treading on the right path.We now realise how important it is for your child to have a companion. This little wonder (golden retriever pup) has changed our lives miraculously.We did not even realise when and how he claimed so much space in our world.We are amazed at our son's parenting skills.I have to admit that for a person like me who has never had a pet, it is quite interesting getting used to the unconditional love of this amazing creature.


The generation gap is just a mindset I believe.If both sides are ready to accomodate then the gap could be bridged with minimal effort..........

KUCHH ZAHREELA SA / कुछ ज़हरीला सा ........

Khoon kahan daudta hai ragon mein aajkal,
yeh to nason mein bah raha kuchh aur hai
pani hota to kabhi ubaal aa bhi jata,
par nahin yeh to kuchh zahreela sa hai
jane anjane koi dank maar bhi de to
na koi behosh hota hai ,na hi marta hai
jab khoon ka ye haal hai , to dil ka kya?
dil dil jaisa hai bhi ya patthar ho gaya hai?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

खून कहाँ दौड़ता है रगों में आजकल,
यह तो नसों में बह रहा कुछ और है
पानी होता तो कभी उबाल आ भी जाता
पर नहीं,यह तो कुछ ज़हरीला सा है
जाने अनजाने कोई डंक मार भी दे तो
ना कोई बेहोश होता है, ना ही मरता है
जब खून का ये हाल है, तो दिल का क्या?
दिल दिल जैसा है भी, या पत्थर हो गया है?

AMI MANUSH, EKTU SHARTHOPOR...... / আমি মানুষ, একটু স্বার্থপর ........

aaj abaar bhor eshechhilo
amaar janala aaj kholai chhilo
ami r bristi coffee khachchilam
bhorer mon ta kharap bujhte parlam.

aaj megher kachhe surjo here giyechhe
aaj akash meghachhanno,bristi eshechhe
bhorer mukkhana mlaan,amaro bhalo lageni
surjo bhalo thakug, oke shetao bolte parini

ami aaj basudhar shobuj shari dekhe mugdho
bristir shonge bhaab dekhe bhor ektu kruddho
amaar nei anutaap,amaar kachhe priyo ora shobai
ami manush, ektu sharthopor , aaj bristi amar soi



_________________________________________



আজ আবার ভোর এসেছিল 
আমার জানালা আজ খোলাই চ্ছিল

আমি আর বৃষ্টি 

ভরের মন টা খারাপ বুঝতে পারলাম.

আজ মেঘের কাচ্ছে সূর্য হেরে গিয়েছে 

আজ আকাশ মেঘাচ্ছন্ন ,বৃষ্টি এসেচ্ছে

ভোরের মুখখানা ম্লান,আমারও ভাল লাগেনি

সূর্য ভাল থাকুগ , ওকে সেটাও বলতে পারিনি 

আমি আজ বসুধার সবুজ সাড়ি দেখে মুগ্ধো

বৃষ্টির সঙ্গে ভাব দেখে ভোর একটু ক্রুদ্ধ

আমার নেই অনুতাপ ,আমার কাচ্ছে প্রিয় ওরা সবাই

আমি মানুষ, একটু স্বার্থপর , আজ বৃষ্টি আমার সই


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HAMDARD,HAMRAHI AUR?? / हमदर्द , हमराही और ??

EK wo chaand hai,jise dekhkar
bachcha chain ki neend so jata hai
anpadh maa bhi loriyaan gunguna leti hai

EK wo chaand hai,jiski tulna
premi apni premika se karta hai
premika use pane ka khwaab dekhti hai

EK wo chaand hai,jise dekh
shayar shayari mein doob jata hai
na jane kitni gazalein likh leta hai

EK wo chaand hai,jahaan insaan
pahuchne ka khwaab dekhta hai
apne kadmon ke nishaan banana chahta hai

EK wo chaand hai,jiski snigdh roshni
budhape ka sahara ban jati hai
uski madhur chhaya mein ma ki lori yaad ati hai

EK hi hai chaand,magar uski
prernayein anek hain
hamdard,hamrahi aur na jane kya kya naam hain!!


एक वो चाँद है,जिसे देखकर
बच्चा चैन की नींद सो जाता है
अनपढ़ माँ भी लोरियां गुनगुना लेती  है

एक वो चांद है,जिसकी तुलना
प्रेमी अपनी प्रेमिका से करता है
प्रेमिका उसे पाने का ख़्वाब देखती है

एक वो चाँद है,जिसे देख
शायर शायरी में डूब जता है
ना जाने कितनी गज़लें लिख लेता है

एक वो चाँद है,जहाँ इंसान
पहुँचने का ख़्वाब देखता है
अपने कदमों के निशान बनाना चाहता है

एक वो चाँद है,जिसकी स्निग्ध रोशनी
बुढ़ापे का सहारा बन जाती है
उसकी मधुर छाया में माँ की लोरी याद आती है

एक ही है चाँद,मगर उसकी
प्रेरणायें अनेक हैं
हमदर्द,हमराही और ना जाने क्या- क्या नाम हैं!!